Cast a crippling curse on your enemy & other strangely cool things you can do for $5

Ruth 666

For $5, Ruth666 –a lifelong sorceress and a high-ranking official in the Church of Satan— will make your enemy squirm. Yikes!

Today I learned about the “Extremely Bizarre” section of Fiverr. Consider my life changed.

If you’re not familiar with Fiverr, it’s an online marketplace where folks can offer up their services for the rate of just $5. It’s typically used for business services, like SEO optimization, blog post writing, and the such. But, like all good things on the Internet, there is room for the weird and that’s where the “Extremely Bizarre” category comes in.

On this site, in addition to getting sweet revenge and optimizing your site’s SEO, you can:

I heart Fiverr

–hire a bikini’d Russian model to dance around in a horse mask while holding a sign with your personalized message.

–undo the crippling curse your enemy placed on you by hiring a Romanian “healing master specialized on Soul Healing and Enlightenment” to uncurse you forever.

–make a dude –who is only in his underwear– named “Mr. Mayo” rub mayonnaise all over his “chubby belly.” [Promise me you will never do this.]

–have an insane clown named Boozin’ Bozo utter sweet nothings to your sweetie.

And lots more!

You can get all of these things for just FIVE BUCKS each. THAT’S IT.

Service providers on Fiverr can tack on extras, which can cost more than five dollars, too. For example, to really make sure your enemies are cursed real good, Ruth666 offers some additional services:

Ruth666 spell

Gentle readers,

It is at this time that I offer up my own services to you. For a mere $5, I will tweet out a compliment about you based solely on information gleaned from your public profiles.

Fiverr compliment

Are you curious what I’ll say about you? It takes just $5 to find out.

Yours truly,

Rusty Blazenhoff

Note to self: Don’t mess with Ruth666.
p.s. While this might smell like a sponsored post, it is not. I am truly enamored with the “Extremely Bizarre” section of Fiverr. If I ever have sponsored content, I will mark it clearly as such.