For $5, Ruth666 –a lifelong sorceress and a high-ranking official in the Church of Satan— will make your enemy squirm. Yikes!
Today I learned about the “Extremely Bizarre” section of Fiverr. Consider my life changed.
If you’re not familiar with Fiverr, it’s an online marketplace where folks can offer up their services for the rate of just $5. It’s typically used for business services, like SEO optimization, blog post writing, and the such. But, like all good things on the Internet, there is room for the weird and that’s where the “Extremely Bizarre” category comes in.
On this site, in addition to getting sweet revenge and optimizing your site’s SEO, you can:
–hire a bikini’d Russian model to dance around in a horse mask while holding a sign with your personalized message.
–make a dude –who is only in his underwear– named “Mr. Mayo” rub mayonnaise all over his “chubby belly.” [Promise me you will never do this.]
–have an insane clown named Boozin’ Bozo utter sweet nothings to your sweetie.
And lots more!
You can get all of these things for just FIVE BUCKS each. THAT’S IT.
Service providers on Fiverr can tack on extras, which can cost more than five dollars, too. For example, to really make sure your enemies are cursed real good, Ruth666 offers some additional services:
It is at this time that I offer up my own services to you. For a mere $5, I will tweet out a compliment about you based solely on information gleaned from your public profiles.
Are you curious what I’ll say about you? It takes just $5 to find out.